Kat and Phoebe discuss sexually adventurous podcasting, unwanted heirloom dining sets, the phenomenon of "divorce rings," the latest viral Cut essay about age gap relationships, and what to do when your foyer is too narrow to hold your collection of body parts in jars.
I think of a 'flush ponytail' in the 'completely level' sense - as a ponytail where the hair before and after the scrunchie/hair band is absolutely and immaculately straight and perfect - a difficult task, but essential if your daughter has an important ballet recital!
I enjoyed the chaos today and have a few random thoughts.
As for "sexually adventurous," I think it varies by social context and by personal context. Taking middle-class America before the Sixties, anything other than heterosexual sex in the missionary position was adventurous. Then came "The Joy of Sex," which sold the middle-class a menu of possibilities, and the Overton Window (so to speak) that distinguished "normal" and "adventurous" rapidly expanded. Boredom on the one hand, and the narcissistic eagerness to be hep to the latest transgressive thing, on the other hand, fueled the expansion. Just as bad money drives out good, bad sex drives out good. "Getting pegged by Pennywise on a trapeze? That's so 2019!"
As for personal context, what is adventurous for a rural Mennonite lad or lass might be pedestrian for an urban sophisticate. And does it differ for men and women? Yes, but that's another social context.
On heirlooms and collectibles:
**Regarding heirloom brains, zombie hunters always need bait. I'm looking at you, Bruce Campbell!
**As for Kat's third and fourth sofas in the basement--go full Marie Kondo on this one. If you don't anticipate a Victorian mansion in your future with room for four sofas, first seek a home with family and friends for the spares, then go to Salvation Army. They take anything.
**Regarding Kat's speculation about collectible penises, there is indeed an Icelandic Phallological Museum in Reykjavik, Iceland. In answer to your inevitable question, no, the collection is currently limited to the animal kingdom (I understand the whale and elephant exhibits are popular). There are, however, some human males who have willed their private parts to the collection. Also, if you take a look at the Museum's site, you will find they have a Phallic Cafe and Bistro. The Cafe obviously hired a teenage boy consultant to name their adult beverages.
**Nazi helmets/pistols/flags/daggers? Yes, they were trophies of the victor. There are legitimate WWII collectors who might buy Nazi helmets. Or maybe the helmet could be donated to a local production of "The Producers." Reflecting the concern of the woman in angst, she would probably not want to sell the helmet to a Nazi reenactor--especially one who would take his reenacting too seriously.
On older men. Leslie College (now Leslie University) is located in close proximity to Harvard Law School. Leslie has focused on being a teachers' college. Campus wits in the Seventies used to say that Leslie undergraduates would conduct research in the Harvard Law Library in pursuit of their MRS degrees. This joke was sexist, to be sure, but probably partially based in fact.
As to whether your subject who got her MRS from a B-School student was "neither feminist nor trad"--I would ask, "What tradition?' If contemporary middle-class American tradition, then yes. Leaving aside contemporary upper-class trophy wives with hobbies and politics and enthusiasms (another topic), our proud MRS seems quite in step with the tradition of Regency through Edwardian England. Any accomplished young lady of the era would think herself fortunate to snag a Fitzwilliam Darcy, perhaps 10-20 years older and in possession of a good fortune, who would hire a nanny (to be followed by boarding school) to care for the offspring. These accomplished young ladies would often write poetry or Gothic novels, join the hunt, exhibit at the fortepiano, and engage in charitable causes.
Flush? Flush with her back? Flushable hair extensions? Never mind....
I couldn't figure out what a flush ponytail was either.
I have my grandmother's china, which is very mid century. I'm fond of it and yet I never use it, so my kids have no memories of it and I'll only have myself to blame when they don't want it. But we always have the big family dinners at my folks' house...
Heirloom problem: Give it to the grandkids, not the kids. The grandkids are just moving into their own, saves them the money to pay for furniture and china and gets them nice things instead of IKEA's cheapest. Grandkids will be grateful, kids relieved and grandma happy.
If you’re married with children the wedding ring is such ridiculously small beans compared to all the money that’s getting thrown around in a divorce (splitting a house, child support etc) that I can’t imagine anyone making a big deal about it. Although, if you’re a divorced woman, do you _want_ to be wearing this ring around that reminds you of your ex?
I can’t wait to listen, but it’s bedtime. After my partner died 20 years ago - friends acted as if every item were a Smithsonian object in need of eternal preservation. 99.99% went into the garbage including the large but fragile dinnerware that was not stack-friendly. My apartment is small. Only a hoarder could live up to such expectations.
I like the idea of lying so as not to offend in the case of a parent who wants to gift you with sentimental objects you do not desire. Every city and most towns have donation centers (Good Will) to help poor people acquire home furnishings.
Put a deer head on the wall, put the Nazi helmet on it, and tell visitors, “Grandpa shot Corporal Hirsch there in the Bulge.”
I think of a 'flush ponytail' in the 'completely level' sense - as a ponytail where the hair before and after the scrunchie/hair band is absolutely and immaculately straight and perfect - a difficult task, but essential if your daughter has an important ballet recital!
I enjoyed the chaos today and have a few random thoughts.
As for "sexually adventurous," I think it varies by social context and by personal context. Taking middle-class America before the Sixties, anything other than heterosexual sex in the missionary position was adventurous. Then came "The Joy of Sex," which sold the middle-class a menu of possibilities, and the Overton Window (so to speak) that distinguished "normal" and "adventurous" rapidly expanded. Boredom on the one hand, and the narcissistic eagerness to be hep to the latest transgressive thing, on the other hand, fueled the expansion. Just as bad money drives out good, bad sex drives out good. "Getting pegged by Pennywise on a trapeze? That's so 2019!"
As for personal context, what is adventurous for a rural Mennonite lad or lass might be pedestrian for an urban sophisticate. And does it differ for men and women? Yes, but that's another social context.
On heirlooms and collectibles:
**Regarding heirloom brains, zombie hunters always need bait. I'm looking at you, Bruce Campbell!
**As for Kat's third and fourth sofas in the basement--go full Marie Kondo on this one. If you don't anticipate a Victorian mansion in your future with room for four sofas, first seek a home with family and friends for the spares, then go to Salvation Army. They take anything.
**Regarding Kat's speculation about collectible penises, there is indeed an Icelandic Phallological Museum in Reykjavik, Iceland. In answer to your inevitable question, no, the collection is currently limited to the animal kingdom (I understand the whale and elephant exhibits are popular). There are, however, some human males who have willed their private parts to the collection. Also, if you take a look at the Museum's site, you will find they have a Phallic Cafe and Bistro. The Cafe obviously hired a teenage boy consultant to name their adult beverages.
**Nazi helmets/pistols/flags/daggers? Yes, they were trophies of the victor. There are legitimate WWII collectors who might buy Nazi helmets. Or maybe the helmet could be donated to a local production of "The Producers." Reflecting the concern of the woman in angst, she would probably not want to sell the helmet to a Nazi reenactor--especially one who would take his reenacting too seriously.
On older men. Leslie College (now Leslie University) is located in close proximity to Harvard Law School. Leslie has focused on being a teachers' college. Campus wits in the Seventies used to say that Leslie undergraduates would conduct research in the Harvard Law Library in pursuit of their MRS degrees. This joke was sexist, to be sure, but probably partially based in fact.
As to whether your subject who got her MRS from a B-School student was "neither feminist nor trad"--I would ask, "What tradition?' If contemporary middle-class American tradition, then yes. Leaving aside contemporary upper-class trophy wives with hobbies and politics and enthusiasms (another topic), our proud MRS seems quite in step with the tradition of Regency through Edwardian England. Any accomplished young lady of the era would think herself fortunate to snag a Fitzwilliam Darcy, perhaps 10-20 years older and in possession of a good fortune, who would hire a nanny (to be followed by boarding school) to care for the offspring. These accomplished young ladies would often write poetry or Gothic novels, join the hunt, exhibit at the fortepiano, and engage in charitable causes.
Flush? Flush with her back? Flushable hair extensions? Never mind....
I couldn't figure out what a flush ponytail was either.
I have my grandmother's china, which is very mid century. I'm fond of it and yet I never use it, so my kids have no memories of it and I'll only have myself to blame when they don't want it. But we always have the big family dinners at my folks' house...
Heirloom problem: Give it to the grandkids, not the kids. The grandkids are just moving into their own, saves them the money to pay for furniture and china and gets them nice things instead of IKEA's cheapest. Grandkids will be grateful, kids relieved and grandma happy.
If you’re married with children the wedding ring is such ridiculously small beans compared to all the money that’s getting thrown around in a divorce (splitting a house, child support etc) that I can’t imagine anyone making a big deal about it. Although, if you’re a divorced woman, do you _want_ to be wearing this ring around that reminds you of your ex?
I can’t wait to listen, but it’s bedtime. After my partner died 20 years ago - friends acted as if every item were a Smithsonian object in need of eternal preservation. 99.99% went into the garbage including the large but fragile dinnerware that was not stack-friendly. My apartment is small. Only a hoarder could live up to such expectations.
New subscriber here because I heard you all on B&R and Kat was on House of Strauss last week.
When is PMB going to publish her next book? I would like to read it before I get old and lose all of my ponytail hair.
The nazi helmet should be donated to a reputable history museum or specifically to a holocaust museum (LA has one).
I like the idea of lying so as not to offend in the case of a parent who wants to gift you with sentimental objects you do not desire. Every city and most towns have donation centers (Good Will) to help poor people acquire home furnishings.